…stone by stone
and you stepped forth
finding yourself full grown.From stones of stories set aside
build a foundation for another house…~Judith Robbins, “My Retinue”
What is the first visceral reaction to looking at those balanced rocks over the water? Do you focus on that tiny one supporting the big one? Are you waiting for that slight breeze to set things off balance?
My eye always focuses on that little red rock. How can something so tiny hold up something so big? These balanced rock sculptures, Cairns, fascinate me. I first became acquainted with them when I moved to Utah. They marked the less obscure trails, to ensure you followed the right path and didn’t get lost. Considering I could get lost in a paper bag, my eyes quickly became attuned to watching for these guys while hiking.
Taking time to create one is mindful act that removes the Ego as it is created for the benefits of others. How can we apply this mindful activity of balancing rocks inward, toward ourselves? If we look at the “rocks” as our value or belief system, which values are your foundation and how do you balance your life around them to support you in a wind storm?
There is a need for strong Core, physically and emotionally. Physically, your body needs to be strong to allow for a fluid harmonious flow which promotes Health and Well-being. Emotionally, a strong value system and living an authentic life, fosters strength and awareness. This is something that has been so important in our house with the girls. Mina and I are always in a constant dialogue about emotions, feelings, needs, and how to best articulate our needs in ways others can understand and respond to. Too often, children are not developing an Emotional Intelligence to first, know what that they are feeling, and second, how to articulate what they need. If we do not teach these children how to explain how they are feeling, how will this lack transfer into adulthood? Too often, as adults, we are not aware of the connectivity between our emotions, reactions, in conjunction with expectations from other people. We just “expect” others to just know what we are feeling and respond accordingly. That is not reality based and creates discord. Children model what they see. If we resonate and communicate in a more balanced, mindful way, they will learn by default. Take a moment to make a list of 10 values, break that down to the 5 most important ones, now down to 3, and then down to 1. That final value is where you begin. Sometimes, you just need to go back to the beginning, deconstruct the elements to find your anchor point.
We have a strong value system in place within our family. Mina feels comfortable in expressing herself and, in this way, is learning how to live more authentically and recognize authenticity in others. She is first to tell me or the person directly that behavior does not fit with how she is being raised. These little conversations we have together, she and I, are like little stepping stones that she can now being to take and build her own balanced internal rock sculpture. She is learning to build her value system, gain self-worth, self knowledge & awareness, and her voice one rock at a time. Once she knows what that structure looks like, she can use this a a Life Marker as she walks through her life. Sometimes, the road you are traveling twists and turns and you don’t know which road to take. Now, given the tools, she can see which path is built with a Value- based Cairn in tune with her own internal one, and follow that one. Either something or someone is in alignment with your own personal Truth or they are not. Better to wire our brain to gravitate toward those that lifts us up rather than caught up in another’s drama, feeling lost without a road-map.
Now, go out and collect some rocks to make your own Cairn sculpture for your home. Put it somewhere you can see and it can be your quiet reminder to live your truth in accordance with your values.
