In one week, my baby will be flying over to Turkey with her dad. She and I are starting to have a difficult time as the reality of this comes close. She will be there for 16 days, in another country thousands of miles away.
We spent the afternoon gathering things she may need: medicine in case she is sick, coloring books for the plane, and snuggling…lots and lots of snuggles. This is the first time she is flying with out me, anywhere, ever.
She wakes up at night, calling to make sure I am there and is nervous to be so far away from me, even across the hall seems to far from me as we countdown the days.
I put that big smile on, stay positive and calm, and tell her she will have so much more fun there than with me. I am working hard the next few weeks to finish up my Life Coach certification.
I think it is a parent’s greatest fear: knowing your child safe when she is not with you. I had a mini-meltdown at Lyn’s office the other day when I went in for my weekly mentor session. She was able to calm me down and reflect back to me what I already know: Keeping Mina Safe is your priority and you know you are strong enough to do that.
Now that I know I have tools to help keep her safe here, Istanbul has exploded with protests, tear gas and chaos. As I read the Facebook updates from friends and family, I realize the situation is not as contained to one section of town. I am confident that Mina will not be brought anywhere near the protests, but as a mother, I am uneasy because these things are out of my control, out of anyone’s control for that matter.
Mina woke up in the middle of the night last night and wanted to talk about the trip. “Mama, I feel like my heart is torn in two pieces: half of my heart is excited to go, but half of my heart is finding it difficult to be so far away from you.”
We re-focused to all the things she loves there: eating meals at her grandmother’s round table with the pretty red tablecloth, sitting on the balcony of her grandmother’s house, and helping her grandmother cook special cookies for tea time. Focusing on this, helped her get excited and calm her down. It also helped me to remember that no one over there will ever put Mina in harm’s way.