It is simple Saturday. I feel like I have a lot of noise in my head and I needed to find a way to move through it to the other side… Move from inside of my head to what is right outside around me, to take in the peacefulness in my own backyard.
In order to pull me back to center and feel more grounded, I need to feel, in every way, what is around me. If I close my eyes as I sit on my deck, I smell sweet Linden tree flowers, honeysuckle mixed with roses. I hear the leaves rustling, the birds chattering and someone, somewhere is practicing on the guitar.
I just finished re-reading Everyday Sacred, by Sue Bender for the book-club that I am leading this afternoon at 3pm. The women from the book-club are interested in my own version of a “cracked bowl” project inspired from the book: transforming old emotion filled papers into a beautiful paper mache bowl.
Transform: what does that mean to you? De-construct to re-construct? re-purpose? ‘Recycle’ the Self to heal? Rip yourself apart to put yourself back together in a new way?
It’s funny how I still feel a bit emotional as I embark of doing this project again. I decided, I needed to make some tea. I took the time to pick some fresh Linden flowers from my tree to make a fresh, healing tea, a combination of inner healing through drinking with the outer healing by smelling the flowers over head.
I am reminded of a story I once read: One day, as a butterfly was bursting from his chrysalis, a person walked by. This person, seeing the butterfly struggle, stopped to help remove the chrysalis. However, when the wings emerged, they were small and weak. The person, good intentioned as he/she was, had prevented the butterfly from the struggle that would eventually make it strong.
It is beginning…people are turning to me to help or facilitate their own transformation. So many questions pop up in my head: Will I be able to sit with detached compassion and allow them to make their own journey, struggle and all? I am still struggling with so many things: will I be able to stay ahead of the game as we forge ahead, reaching confidently back with one of my hands offering to help those crossing these same life markers?
We are all a “Works in Progress” with the journey as the lesson. Today, I need to NOT think so much. I am going to take it slow and sip my tea.