“And one has to understand that braveness is not the absence of fear but rather the strength to keep on going forward despite the fear.” ~Paulo Coelho
It’s funny when another part of yourself decides to wake up and be noticed. All of a sudden awake after years of slumber to clamor to the front for immediate attention like a petulant child. There is no peace until proper care and attention has been administered.
Welcome to yesterday morning in my brain!
It began as usual..coffee…email…click click…delete..OH OH click that one open pleaaase screams part of my head that was way to loud before properly caffeinated. Really? It’s a groupon-there is nothing I could possibly need in that email…oh, now I understand!
To preface this, I have been struggling the past few weeks to feel strong in my decisions, life, and just about everything. I have searching for a way to feel strong again. Reading, gardening, music were grounding but not building me up…just maintaining balance. I have been having dreams about searching for something and not finding it. My thoughts have my coach Lyn’s voice asking me “When in your life did you feel strong?” Quietly, I would answer I don’t remember. I was at the point when I felt like I was floundering and getting frustrated. I was trying to hard. The problem with fear and frustration is that they try to hard to take control and impede the process of self-awareness.
Because I was half asleep, this little groupon was able to slip through. It was a groupon for Kickboxing at a gym just down the street from my house. It was then that I remembered that I really had enjoyed kickboxing way back when and had come up with all sorts of excuses for not pursuing it again. I decided to go into the gym and talk with the people there. It was small, family like and welcoming. I told them about my hip and was there a way to do kickboxing with a hip condition. The guy smiled and said, Everyone here has something wrong with their hip-we all work within our own bodies capabilities.”
This felt right to me. I had go back in time to a place when I felt strong and pulled it into the present. It was the tangible element that has been missing in my life.
There may have been balance and strength in my spirit, but I was not strong physically. I look to Lyn and her weightlifting , her strength in body and soul, and I knew what I needed to do. If I wanted to be a Bad-Ass like Lyn, I needed to get stronger in more ways than one. This kick boxing thing was the missing link that added a bit of tickle to my brain. Now, I am feeling a mentally stronger in anticipation for what’s to come. It’s time to kick some butt and help people kick their lives, full speed ahead.
If you ever wanted to know what it takes to be a Bad Ass like Lyn, take a few minutes listen, absorb…live your potential.