As a woman, I have an inherent need to be all things to all people, to make certain everybody’s taken care of. I know I can’t sustain that level all the time, so I’m finding the proper balance and it’s made me infinitely happier. ~Sarah Jessica Parker
Looking back on the past week, I am amazed that I was able to pull it off. So many variables to balance that could have created an avalanche of chaos. My life is like most women’s: a spectrum of extremes ranging from high energy to stillness. Maybe I have a few more balls in the air to juggle in the mothering section of my life, but I have come to some sort of acceptance as to the concept of completion.
I am a planner, detailed oriented, and love follow through. That works well when it is just me and Mina. When you figure in all the other external forces that could derail things, it becomes overwhelming and sometimes I borderline hyperventilate because my mind races in all the possibilities.
When this happens, I have to take myself out of Myself and move up to look at things. I fly up to my tightrope and look down at my family circus to see what needs my attention or how to create a plan with fallback features. There are times I wish I had a flow chart to follow!
To figure out the Flow of the week, I fall back to Need vs Want questions to create my plan.
- What is most important to get done? What do I need to get done and when?
- How does that need to happen and Who does it affect?
- What would I WANT to happen?
- What results would I be ok with? (remember, perfection is not necessary, but the essence of what you want to create is.)
- What variables or people could influence the outcome and how? Be proactive, name the variables or possible stumbling blocks, create a fallback solution, and move on. Worrying about “what could happen” impedes momentum.
- What things can you let go of until another time?
- How are you honoring yourself and your time in all of this?
I am a list maker and I overestimate time so that there is plenty of time in between things to allow for hiccups. When things are too tightly planned, my heart gets jittery and I forget to breathe. When things become too much, I tell myself and others around me that I need a few minutes to breathe and think. It may seem counter intuitive to take time away from a busy day to breathe, but you can push your personal pause button to re-evaluate how to proceed. Pushing through just to complete creates a frenzied energy around the project that may not be your original intention. Relax for a minute, find your center, balance your thoughts, and then continue on.