Dear Future Love on Valentines Day…
I have lived many lives before you came along, loved hard and left because neither could accept me for who I was.
I need you to know that up front that I will not be morphing myself to fit into the boxed idea you have of me in your mind.
I am quite independent as I am and don’t “need” you in my life. I have always been comfortable alone, on my own and don’t need someone to complete me. I am a complete package that will love you completely for who you are if you are ready.
For me, love is not chocolates, flowers or trinkets. I want to know I can trust you. I don’t want empty promises with a wink and a smile. Promise something once , I’ll believe it. Twice with out action, I’ll hesitate. More than that and my trust is gone. How can I trust you with my heart and my daughters heart if you can’t keep your word?
I am not a casual dater. I can’t. I fall to fast for people because I fall in love with their spirit first and the rest second. I once told someone that my heart was big enough to love lots of people but only had room for one true love.
You should also know I have so much baggage from my other lives that is just part of who I am. It can seem like a tangled mess to the average person. I prefer to liken it to one of this Thursday night sitcoms from the 90’s.
I love to cook but rarely eat. I also have poor sense of portion control and always cook too much. Be prepared to eat a lot!
I can swing from being ridiculously silly as I dance around the living room to crazy serious in the blink of an eye. I apologize in advance for the crazy speed and directions my mind takes..just try and keep up the best you can.
I am not responsible for your happiness.. if you are in the habit of blaming everyone else for your problems, walk away now. If you can not be accountable for you actions, words or behaviors, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
Relationships take work. We both will make mistakes. The only way we will grow is if we have a safe space with each other to say “I was such an ass and I’m sorry. What do we need to do to work on this?”
Both people need to do the work, feel heard and that their feelings are valid. If there is an imbalance then this teeter-totter we are riding on will fall over.
Why am I telling you all this shit? Because all I have ever wanted was someone who was willing to meet me halfway and try.
I know I don’t know you yet, but I wanted you to know I was thinking about you.
Happy Valentine’s Day
Love,
Me