Invisible

As a Single Mom, I record Mina’s life in pictures and videos. When I look back through the years of pictures, I notice that there are few candid pictures which include me. I am that silent presence taking pictures, but there isn’t someone there to capture those mother/daughter moments that so many other moms seem to have. I remember when Mina was a baby, I would ask my dad each time I would go to RI if he would take some pictures of us. Just so that I would have some nice pictures of me with Mina. Once, sometimes twice a year, I would have pictures taken of me and I feel vain wishing there were more.

It wasn’t until a couple of months ago when someone asked me why I am always taking Selfies with Mina. I had to stop and think…then the answer hit me-it was the only way to have a picture with Mina on my own.

I try not to get jealous of other moms. I see photos on Facebook of mom’s holding their little ones hands as they try to walk, or playing and I wish I had more tangible evidence of my presence in Mina’s life. I sit here now, reflecting, crying a little at a piece of parenthood that I feel I am not a part of. I have been with Mina 90% of her life and maybe 1 % of her photos.

We had so many fun times together and so many more to come that I wish that there was some sort of pictorial recording to look back on or for Mina to look back on later and smile.

anyway, enough of this feeling sorry for myself business! Time to get myself ready to pick the girls up from dance class!