The last month has been a flurry of activity and the days moved so fast that the memories blur one into the next. Spring Break, Easter, birthdays, dance performance rehearsals take precedence and Mina’s bedroom look like a tornado landed.
Mina’s room was so bad that I would get physically uncomfortable within its chaos. Sunday was the day. No where to go, nothing to prepare…just me and Mina wading through the sea of toys, clothes and books. Let’s just say…it did not go very well.
As I get older, I am slowly realizing how my environment affects my mood. Discord and disarray create an unsettled-ness inside me, making me jittery. It affects Mina too when she has to be in that mess for an extended period of time. Normally, she is a very clear thinker, can problem solve, and move through projects with little explanation. After awhile, the room began to affect her as well. She couldn’t think as clearly and got confused easier. Our Emotions became erratic and after hour 3, we were fried.
I had to let go of the idea that we would be able to start the week off with a Spit-Spot room. It was both of our faults that we allowed the room to get to this point. I had put off enforcing afternoon pickups because of our other commitments and she, of course, wasn’t going to remind me!
I let go of trying to fit my Type B personality into a Type A (-) mold. I hover between B+/A- in the neat and clean category.
I let go of the idea that since I am home, my house should be squeaky clean and neat.
I let go of self inflicted expectations that I can do it all, ALL of the time: Who am I proving my self to?
I let go of needing to complete my daily list to feel accomplished: I did enough. I did a lot!
I am a full time mom of 1, part time step-mom to 2, and loving partner. Together we raise these girls between our 2 houses, partially settled in each. To maintain balance within this structure can be tricky. We help each other. Ironically, we can’t seem to find time to clean our own refrigerators, but we can dig in and clean each others!
There is an image that you carry in your head of how you would like others to see you. You want to glide through the chaos with grace and maneuver roadblocks effortlessly.
I let go of that image. I am me.
Some days, I have super human patience and endurance. Some days…I’m just human.
Then there are days like Sunday … Thank goodness for the phrase: “Let’s go out for dinner!”