I hit a nerve with a post last week
. These words resonated with more people than anything else I have ever posted..it reached almost 4000 people with 59 shares.
How come? What was it about this quote that touched people?
It all boils down to perception: how others perceive us and how we, as women, want to be perceived. We put on the brave face, that smile, shake off the pain and push through because we feel it is expected of us. The judgement of our life choices haunt us because we feel we need to justify our own worthiness.
We come from broken homes, broken marriages, broken lives and yet we feel the need to put on veil to hide all that so we don’t look weak. I am reading a book with Mina and the rulers wear a Glamorie to make themselves look more beautiful and exude power. The longer the rulers wear it, the more distant they feel, emotionally, from those around them. We do that. We put on our own Glamorie’s and hope that we can distance ourselves from our brokenness instead of embracing that part of who we are lovingly.
Life gets hard as a mom and harder still as a single parent. So much lays upon our shoulders to figure out on a daily basis. Again, as women, we push through with that a slight joke “Oh, it’s not so bad!” and carry that load, head high, trying to make it to the other side of the room without tripping. We feel that we are supposed to make it look easy and not admit that we are struggling.
When I came upon this quote, I had just left a friends house. She was telling me about how much our business class admired me, my energy, ideas, my put-togetherness. Inside, a voice kept silently shouting: I am a fraud. It’s an act. It is harder than I thought to be a parent, on my own, for 60 days straight with no break. I will not complain, I will not whine because I do not want to hear that little voice in the back of my head tell me: You chose to get divorced. You chose to take full custody-Now you need to pay the consequences!
What do I do? For the outer circle: I dazzle, sparkle and shine as I light up the room with my drive and kooky jokes. But, I do go to my inner circle for support. I take off my Glamorie, set it aside, and care for myself. I am not broken anymore. My pieces are put back together in a different way, but that’s what makes me more interesting. I do make broken look beautiful because I was able to become strong again. I can look back now on where I was and I do feel invincible-hell, if I could make it through that, I can make it through anything! My world doesn’t weigh heavy on me because of my choices. I chose to make a better life for myself and with that life, I know I can do anything. It doesn’t feel like a burden anymore. The only words to describe it is: An Incredible Lightness of Being.