Lately, Mina has been listening to music in her room and it reminded me of when I was young listening to my records. If I wasn’t careful, then my records would get scratched and the song would get stuck in a groove. I would get so frustrated that I had to physically get up, walk over, lift and re-adjust the needle. It hit me this week that is like a metaphor for life.
We spend our days, singing our song…until one day, we get stuck. Stuck in the life we didn’t intend to have. Stuck in a job that depletes us rather than fulfills us. Stuck in a relationship that doesn’t support us. Stuck stuck stuck. The thought of actually having to take action to get un-stuck is overwhelming and we resign ourselves into passive acceptance.
As I have been talking with friends over the past few weeks, this has been the consistent theme. How do I make a shift in myself that will help shift my dis-satisfying circumstances? How do I get off the Hamster wheel and actually move forward rather than in circles?
The answer is simple, but yet not so simple. You have to be willing to try something new and get out of your comfort zone. If your life is like a record, each grove a moment in time, a month, or a year, where is your “scratch” and how did it happen? Believe it or not, record scratches can be fixed with a method called Groove Reconstruction and that is what you need to do to move forward. You have to be willing to shine a light directly on the place where you’re stuck, under high magnification and slowly repair it with time and patience.
If something isn’t working in your life, how come you are where you are and what else can you do in baby steps to shift in a better direction? Asking yourself “how come” gets at the root of the issue while asking yourself “..and what else?” multiple times gives you a working list of things to try. Each “what else” is a step that helps you dig deeper and deeper, like a staircase leading you down to your deepest wants and needs.
Lastly, who is your accountability partner? An accountability partner will help you maintain your momentum as you put your What else list into action. If you truly want to get un-stuck, then you need to step into the discomfort of creating change. It is uncomfortable to push beyond a stagnant reality. It is scary, unpredictable, and emancipating. Just like in fixing an old scratched record, it takes time and patience.
Be gentle with yourself. Go slow..just.. keep… going.