It has been an interesting roller coaster ride to see how the word Family and its meaning has shifted over the past year. Clear demarcation lines have been blurred or completely eliminated. There is an openness and a willingness to embrace each other into this new concept of Family.
fam·i·lyˈ
noun 1. a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.
Yeah, that definition doesn’t apply here. I am going to modify it to fit our needs:
A group of parental figure(s) and children living among multiple houses with a common goal to love and care for all the children regardless of blood relation.
I was witness to something that really touched my heart on Saturday. It was Allegra’s birthday party and Mina was feeling a bit left out as Allegra ran around with her friends from school. She withdrew a little and snuggled next to me on the bench, watching the others jump on the trampolines. Cynthia, Allegra’s mom, came over to talk to Mina. She knelt down in front of Mina, cupped Mina’s face in both of her hands, and looked directly into Mina’s eyes.
“Mina, “she said, “you get to see Allegra more than anyone else here in this room because you’re family. Sometimes its hard to be the “sister” at the family party with all the friends. At the end of the day, she goes home with you, not them, because we are a big family. Just remember that. Now, you come and jump with me, ok?”
I saw love there. She had opened her heart to Mina and Mina welcomed it. Mina beamed, jumped up and had special jumping time with Mama Cynthia. Yesterday, at dinner, Mina talked about how kind it was for Cynthia take her with the girls to see the movie Frozen and how much it meant to her. It made her feel special and included, so she decided to write Cynthia a thank you note: Dear Mama Cynthia, Thank you so much for taking me to see the movie Frozen, I really really really loved it so much!!! Love Mina
She used her special note cards and asked me to deliver it to her today. I felt her love for Cynthia in that note.
Allegra has been the same way when she interacts with Mina’s dad. I remember last year when she spent the day with Mina and her dad. She came home bubbling with stories and she wanted to give him some of our home made bagels and cream cheese last year. She was so sweet when she handed him the basket of bagels and ran to give him a big hug good bye.
Family, is not about being blood related anymore. It’s about love. Seeing it, feeling it, and sharing it. Divorce doesn’t need to mean that the children lose out on things, but opens the door for so many things to be gained. These girls have so many “parents” who love them. Divorce hasn’t meant less love in their lives, but more: More love, more authenticity, more guidance, and of course more fun!