I think the hardest thing to get used to after divorce is time away from the kids when they go to the other parent’s house. The silence can be deafening when it’s just you in the home. There is an aimlessness of “what do I do with myself?” while they are gone.
It feels like pieces of your being are missing. If you have fun on those weekends, do you feel guilty? I used to. I would worry if she was eating or sleeping…what she was doing..was she happy..Then, all of a sudden, the weekend was gone in a blink and I hadn’t done anything to feed my soul.
I had to learn to love the empty spaces. Those were opportunities for me to get to know ME again. For so long I was a wife, then a mother, but who was I now when I was no longer a wife and wasn’t wearing my “mom” hat for the weekend?
Having the time either over the weekends or during the week gave me the chance to explore new friends, new classes or just enjoying a good book or being able to pee without someone bursting through the door. You laugh, but you know what I am talking about.
Enjoying your time on your own doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids enough. Enjoying your time means you are taking care of you for the moment. When you take the time to learn to love yourself and your life again, that shines through in your parenting. You demonstrate to your child to take time for themselves for what’s important.
There will be days when those weekends feel so long becuase we miss their laughter pinging off the walls. And, there will be times when the weekend flies by because you have been out and about doing all sorts of stuff. All of it is ok.
What I have learned is that the time away makes you appreicate the time with them that much more. It gives you just a smidge of insight of what it will be like when they finally leave the nest.
Now, go binge watch that show you have been eyeing on Netflix and order that take out.