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You are here: Home / Mostly Happy Journey / “You are still you”

“You are still you”

May 24, 2013 / by Elif Ekin / Leave a Comment

 

As I lbe yourselfay in bed this morning, I realized that I had been awakened by another bird, not normally around at this time of day: The Woodpecker. That woodpecker is such a determined bird, peck peck pecking away for everything it needs be it food or creating a nest out of a dead tree. Of course, when something new or unexpected crosses my path, I have to look it up. This is what it said of woodpeckers: “Woodpeckers are unique for what they do. They have a shock-absorber head to withstand repeated blows, a strong stiff bill,  and a stiff tail for balance.”

Maybe I should take my lesson for the day from them. Stand strong, be determined and maintain balance to absorb negative shock waves.

 

Alex’s friend Hugo came back to visit us for the next 10 days and it was nice to sit in the sun yesterday afternoon and catch up on the last few months. Mina and I had collected some fun things and made a welcome basket for his arrival. It was fun for him to go through and the expression of his face when he drank the Mango Coconut water was priceless!!

He took a minute after our catch-up conversation, looked at me, and asked: How are you still you in the middle of all the stuff you go through everyday? How do you find time for your own happiness so you can maintain your You-Ness?

What makes me, ME, according to Hugo, is the ability to still think of others needs and likes in the midst of my own swirling tornado of intense personalities around me.

It’s a fair question, but I had to think about it. Me, being ME, and thinking of other’s needs in the midst of craziness is an ingrained trait. That’s easy for me. Me, being ME, and thinking of MY needs in the midst of craziness is not. It takes great effort, on my part, to put myself first in a situation and stand up for myself. After so many years of feeling other’s needs were more important than my own, My daily lesson it to take a few moments of the day to check in with myself, sit with a situation, and have the courage to say No.

It is hard for me to say: I need time to read, be quiet, and find my balance again. You would think that it would get easier each time I do it, but it doesn’t. I am always apprehensive about the reaction from another person and prepare myself for a negative emotional blow. When the emotional blow doesn’t come, I can release, relax, and recognize the strength it took to say what I said. It is in this moment that I feel courage to know that I am getting stronger in believing in myself and my own importance.

 

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Filed Under: Mostly Happy Journey, Single Mom Tagged With: Awareness, Busy Mom, Letting Go, Living in the present, Releasing Control, Single Mom, speak from the heart

Previous Post: « Speak carefully
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